Hard Times For Daffy II: Daffy's Revenge!
by WileE2005
Summary: Finally, a sequel to Hard Times for Daffy. The status of our beloved Looney Tunes in the current year of 2007, and Daffy and Bugs are suddenly changing, and not in a good way. And it's up to Wile E. Coyote to break his silence and try to save them! Pixar fans might not want to read this, though.
1. Chapter 1 A New Hope

Hard Times for Daffy II: DAFFY'S REVENGE!

NOTE: This is a sequel to my previous "Hard Times for Daffy" story. I do not own the Looney Tunes franchise, or the other WB animation characters or anything related to Hanna-Barbera or Cartoon Network. That is all copyrighted by Warner Bros. "Little Man" is a trademark and copyrighted by Sony and the Wayan Brothers.

Chapter One: A New Hope

Daffy was sipping coffee one morning. He was living with his old friend Wile E. Coyote. Bugs Bunny had also moved in with them. Bugs Bunny was eating some carrots, and Wile E. was reading a newspaper. "You know," he said to his friends. "I'm surprised no one did anything about that 'Little Man' movie that came out last summer."

"Yeah!" Bugs was angered. "Dat film was a complete rip-off of MY masterpiece, 'Baby Buggy Bunny!' Dem Wayan brothers didn't even call me or thank me or anything like that! I think I know how to take care of that!" Bugs got out a cell phone and dialed. "Hello? Baby Face Finster? Yes. I want you to go find da Wayans and sue them! Good. Thanks." Then he hung up. "It's all settled," he told his pals. "Baby Face Finster is going to sue da Wayan brothers for their movie!"

Daffy smiled. "Great going, pal! Now we're getting somewhere!" he told Bugs. Then he said, "Our 'Bah, Humduck' movie is only nominated for one Annie this year… 'Best Music.'"

Wile E. Coyote sighed and said, "I am pretty sure it is going to lose to 'Cars.' The Pixar films are always highly popular, even if they don't make the most box-office money than the other movies do. They are shoe-ins for winning."

Bugs agreed. "I heard the soundtrack to 'Cars.' Typical Pixar stuff. Who cares about dat?"

"The soundtrack for 'Bah, Humduck' wasn't that great, either," Wile E. added. "Why, Bill Lava's music was better than that!"

Bugs Bunny shuddered and said, "Don't say that name around me!"

The coyote said, "Sorry. But I also hope that Sander Schwartz leaves soon. Warner Bros. Animation hasn't been the same with him in charge."

"I agree," Daffy said, and then added, "It seems that I am getting more attention in these new Looney Tunes projects. Why, in 'Bah, Humduck,' you had a minor role! Speaking of 'Bah, Humduck,' I'm GLAD it wasn't released theatrically! It would've BOMBED, and we'd be out on the streets! Can you guess how bad that would be?" He laughed.

"Hey! You were out on the streets several months ago, remember?" Wile E. told Daffy angrily.

Daffy then said sorrowfully, "Oh, right. Sorry. But the popularity of the DVD still isn't enough to win me back my own house."

"Face it," Wile E. Coyote said, "Looney Tunes will never be the same. The Cartoon Network boss hates us, Sander Schwartz treats us like junk and has changed the powerhouse of old Termite Terrace, and we are no longer on TV or in theaters."

"We have been eclipsed in popularity by da new Cartoon Network stars, like Dexter and Ed, Edd and Eddy, as well as the Teen Titans," Bugs added. "We… we've been canceled!"

"I know," Daffy sadly said. "But we can still try and attempt to appeal to the public. We'll have to think of ways…"

Bugs got an idea. "We could tell them about 'Baby Buggy Bunny' and its rip-off movie, 'Little Man!'"

Then the coyote added, "And compare the comedy of the old cartoons with the new ones of today."

"Those are all good ideas," Daffy told his friends. "But we need MORE good ideas. We have to THINK…"


	2. Chapter 2: Hurt and Heal

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: "Cars" is a trademark and copyright of Pixar and Buena Vista International. The "Betty Rubble Center" is taken from the "Off the Mark" comic strip, created by Mark Parisi. I do not own these.

Chapter Two: Hurt and Heal

Later, Daffy Duck was reading the newspaper. It was a late evening. He found an article that grabbed his attention.

"Look! Cars won the Annie Award!" Daffy angrily shouted. He then threw the newspaper on the ground.

"I knew it would," Wile E. Coyote sadly said. "I just didn't say anything."

"Oh! YOU knew it would win! HOW DID YOU KNOW?" Daffy screamed.

"Well, how do I put this?" Wile E. began. "Because it's a PIXAR movie!" he angrily told Daffy. "It doesn't matter if the plot is good or bad, and it doesn't matter if it becomes a box-office smash, and it doesn't matter if the soundtrack is a full, lush orchestral score or a cheap synthesized score. The fact that makes it a shoe-in is because it is a Pixar film!"

Bugs Bunny entered, just having taken a shower. "Eh, what's going on, Duck?" he asked, with a bathing cap on and holding a towel.

"Just look at this!" Daffy zoomed the newspaper up to Bugs Bunny's face. "ANOTHER Pixar film won this year's Annie Awards!"

"It did WHAT?!" Bugs Bunny made an awful face. His left eye bugged out and showed its veins, and his teeth were clenched. A loud fire alarm rang inside his head, and then he ran out of the house screaming, doffing his towel and bathing cap. He fell down the steps and crashed to the ground.

…

Later, Bugs Bunny was over at the Betty Rubble Center. It was a hospital for recovering 'toons that were in accidents or were being recovered from addictions and sicknesses. In one room, Linus Van Pelt was being treated for his "Great Pumpkin"-imagining and hallucinations. In another room, Popeye was being deprived from his steroid-filled spinach. And in another room, Sneezy from the seven dwarves had a terrible cold. But in the room where Bugs was in, the rabbit was sitting in a wheelchair. He had a broken leg, and it was in a cast. Daffy and Wile E. came to visit him, of course. And so did Porky Pig and Sylvester and the Tasmanian Devil and Lola Bunny.

Porky began, "We're-a a-really s-s-sorry for what happened to you Mr. Bu-bu-bu-bu, Mr. Bu-bu… er, Bugs."

"It's all right…" Bugs moaned. "It was Pixar's fault."

"Ooh…" Sylvester shuddered. "I hate Pixar!"

Lola said, "I hope you get well soon, Bugs." She kissed Bugs on the cheek. This caused Bugs Bunny's eyes to form into hearts for a few seconds as Bugs began babbling stupidly, like a toon in love typically would.

"So, what happened?" Sylvester asked.

Wile E. Coyote explained, "We told Bugs Bunny that Pixar's 'Cars' movie won the Annie Awards, and Bugs Bunny just had a major freak-out! He raced out of the house and fell down the porch steps, breaking his leg. I didn't expect him to take it so seriously."

"I was angered at that 500th achievement Pixar made, too!" Daffy said. "But at least I didn't do something stupid like Bugs did!"

"Yes, but why don't you guys go on ahead and let Bugs heal?" Wile E. suggested. The gang left, except for Bugs, Daffy and the coyote. They pushed Bugs in his wheelchair.

Bugs explained, "Da doctor said it was a minor stress fracture. Dey had to give me a booster shot in my butt! Then dey put my cast on."

"I'm glad you didn't kill yourself," Wile E. said.

"Yeah, me too," Daffy added. "So Bugs, how ya feeling?"

Bugs angrily said, "I now vow revenge on Pixar!"

Daffy evilly smiled. "Hey, I'm with ya, bub!"

"Here we go again…" the coyote said to himself.

…

That night, Bugs and Daffy were in Wile E. Coyote's living room. The only sole light was from a floor lamp. The two former cartoon stars had a map laid out on a table, and they had some small figures and models, too. "OK, so here's da plan," Bugs Bunny began from his wheelchair.

"We're gonna ambush them, right?" Daffy asked.

"No," Bugs said. "Villains always fall for cheesy disguises, right? So we disguise ourselves! Then, when they least expect them, we make da company go BANKRUPT!"

Daffy said, "Say, that's a great idea! But what shall we disguise as?"

"Well dey already know about you," Bugs said, "so we'll have to put you in a really convincing disguise… hmm, how about a fox? I still got the costume I wore in that 'Foxy by Proxy' cartoon I did once to fool the hunting dogs. I will just pretend to be a special executive, which WILL be a rabbit, congratulating dem and giving dem a big, fat check! Then, you sneak into their computer room and mess everything up! Dey will lose everything!"

Laughing, Daffy said, "Gosh, Bugs old pal, you really are a stinker!"

"Yeah! Ain't I?"

But unknown to them, Wile E. Coyote was overhearing the plan from upstairs. He was wearing his nightshirt and slippers. He was nervous. "I must stop them!" he said. "If they mess with Pixar, they'll be in jeopardy, and I do not mean the game show!"

From downstairs, Daffy said, "Now Pixar's really gonna get it! Woo-hoo!"


	3. Chapter 3: Daffy and Bugs vs Pixar

Chapter Three: Daffy and Bugs vs. Pixar

The next day, Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck were hiding in a bush near the Pixar studios. Bugs was still in his wheelchair, but he also wore a business suit and a gray wig and glasses. He effectively disguised his cast by wearing huge black pants. He also wore shoes to hide his bunny heels. Daffy was wearing Bugs Bunny's cheesy old fox costume with an orange tuzedo jacket added. Wile E. Coyote was also in the bush with them. He looked quite nervous.

"I can't believe you're doing this," Wile E. said to Bugs and Daffy.

Bugs interrupted, "Quiet, coyote. You do your job when I tell you to." Wile E. was going to throw his voice to the disguised Daffy, so the Pixar employees wouldn't get suspicious. "Trust me, it'll be better than Daffy trying to disguise his voice. And dat fake Univac Electronic Brain will make a GREAT phony computer for da fox to sell Pixar!"

"OK, I'm ready," Daffy announced. "Wile E, take your place." Then the duck slipped on the fox mask, completing his ensemble, except for Daffy's true eyes and his neck still being visible. He rang the doorbell at the Pixar building.

"Who is it?" a man asked on the speakerphone.

Wile E. Coyote slightly disguised his voice and said into the speaker, "I'm from Acme and I have a great bargain for you! It'll make you company better!"

"Not Acme…" the man sighed. "OK, come on in."

The doors opened, and Daffy/The Fox walked in. He was pulling the old outdated phony computer on a rope. Inside, a Pixar spokesman stood there.

"What do you want?" the spokesman asked.

From outside, Wile E. spoke the fox's lines, while the costumed Daffy lip-synched to the dialogue. "Allow me to introduce myself. My name is, uh…" the coyote stalled. Bugs whispered into Wile E's ear, and he continued, "My name is Steve… Morgan. Steve Morgan! I'm a salesman from Acme and I've got a deal just for YOU!" Daffy in his fox disguise moved and acted perfectly to the dialogue Wile E. was performing.

The man said, "What is it, Mr. Morgan?"

"This computer and its animation program will make your animation 100% better than it normally is! More powerful than one million desktop computers, and even more powerful than ten of the computers you currently own!" As the coyote continued doing the voice, "Steve the Fox" was showing how powerful the fake computer was.

"I'm not sure…" the spokesman said.

"Plus," Daffy lip-synched to Wile E's voice, "we will install it here, for free, and then we'll discuss on the pricing! We'll give you a good price, since you have the best animation studio in the world!"

The spokesman then said, "OK, you go and install it."

Daffy, sweating inside his old fox mask and costume, wheeled the fake computer into a corridor. There, he began reading the signs on the doors, looking for where they keep the stock data. Meanwhile, Bugs Bunny wheeled himself in with his wheelchair, holding a genuine Acme Fake Check, with $400,000,000 written on it. "Congratulations, Pixar!" Bugs began. "Your studio now holds de official title as da Leader of Animation! To celebrate, I present to you a check, for four hundred million dollars, from the Wiley Foundation!"

"I never heard of the Wiley Foundation," the man said.

Bugs stammered, "Eh, it's a foundation dat helps de cartoon studios of today! It's even better than dose dreadful retarded Looney Tunes!"

"How do I know this is not some kind of scam?"

"It's a good one. Trust me," the rabbit lied.

…

Wile E. Coyote was watching in another window. He saw Daffy, still wearing Bugs's old fox suit, trying to hack the computer. The coyote felt really bad. He didn't want his friends messing with Pixar. They were a greater force than the whole Looney Tunes gang, let alone Bugs and Daffy. He tried not to think of what would happen. But then he couldn't help himself! He ran into the studio! "STOOOOOOOOOOP!"

"OHHHHH no," the Pixar spokesman said. "I knew a Looney Tune would try and stop this!"

"But the person presenting the check to you is a Looney Tune himself!" Wile E. ripped the wig off of Bugs Bunny to reveal his true rabbit ears.

The spokesman was angered. "YOU! You're trying to trick us! Where's the other one?!"

"What other one?" Bugs asked.

"DAFFY! He's on with this, isn't he?"

"Wile E, what the heck are you doing?" Bugs asked.

The coyote said, "I'm not letting you guys go to jail again! It's for your own good!" Then he told the spokesperson, "That Steve Morgan fox is really Daffy Duck in disguise! He's trying to ruin your stock and make the company go bankrupt!"

"That's not good!" The spokesman reached over to a red box on the wall. It had a lever, and had "INTRUDER ALARM on it. He yanked the lever downward, and then sirens began echoing throughout the building. A woman's voice announced over the loudspeaker, "Warning! Warning! Intruder alert! Warning! Warning! Intruder alert!" Red strobe lights were flashing. Then the man grabbed the intercom and shouted, "ATTENTION, STEVE MORGAN! COME OUT RIGHT NOW! WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING!"

"Steve the Fox" came out with his paws up. Wile E. then reached over, grabbed the top of the fox's phony head, and pulled the mask off to reveal Daffy's true features! "NO! I'M RUINED!" Daffy screamed over the noise.

"ME TOO!" Bugs sobbed.

The spokesman then shut off the intruder alarms, which was nothing but a converted fire alarm system, and said, "Wile E. Coyote, you did the right thing. And as for YOU guys," he pointed to Bugs and Daffy, "I don't want you around here AGAIN! You too, Snitchy," he told Wile E. Then he shoved the wheelchair with Bugs in it so it rolled right into a bush, and tossed Wile E. and Daffy out of the building into the mud.

Once again, Lightning McQueen drove up, but this time, he splashed mud into Wile E. and Daffy's faces. "Now what? Are the old fogies too frustrated about my popularity?" He laughed again, revved up, and squealed away before crashing into a pole. However, he survived the collision.

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Daffy laughed. "HE CRASHED! But as for YOU, Wile E, WHY DID YOU SNITCH!"

"I didn't want you and Bugs arrested," Wile E. Coyote tried to explain. "If you succeeded, not only would Pixar be out of business, but so would you!"

"I guess I'm sorry…" Daffy apologized. Then, holding up the fox mask he wore, he asked, "but I get to keep the costume, right?"

"Sure, Daffy." Wile E. warned, "but don't try to do any more mean tricks with it."

"Oh, I won't." Daffy vowed.

The coyote said to himself, "Obviously, that's what he always says, but it isn't always true."


	4. Chapter 4: Bugs Fakes a Leg

Chapter Four: Bugs Fakes a Leg

The next day, Bugs Bunny returned to the Betty Rubble Center to get his cast checked out. The doctor, who was a regular human doctor, was washing his hands. Bugs, sitting on the cold table with his cast, said, "So, what's da diagnosis, doc? Do I still need to wait for my leg to be better?"

"Actually, Bugs," the doctor began, "you're ready to get your cast off TODAY!"

Bugs was surprised. "You mean… I'm healed?" 

The doctor explained, "Yep. Minor stress fractures only take a very short time to heal. You can go back to your normal life."

"Yippee!" Bugs cheered. But then he thought a bit. He got an idea… a BAD idea. "Eh, Doc," he asked, "can I keep dis cast once it's removed, you know, as a souvenir?"

…

Later, back at Wile E's house, Bugs Bunny told Daffy his idea. "I'm gonna add hinges to dis cast, and wear it whenever I talk about Pixar or dose new cartoons, to show people what dey did to me!"

"COOL!" Daffy was impressed. Then he added, "plus, Oscar night is tonight."

"Oh, Oscar…" Bugs sighed.

Wile E. Coyote entered the living room. "What are you talking about?"

"Da Oscars are coming soon!" Bugs said excitedly.

"Yes, but there's a problem," Daffy noted. "I got an anonymous tip that 'CARS' is gonna win!"

"NOT CARS!" Bugs was shocked.

"I'm pretty sure 'Cars' will win," Wile E. told his friends. "Remember what I said? Even though people have been saying the plot was weak, the idea has been done already, and other stuff like that, the reason it will win the Oscar is because IT'S A PIXAR MOVIE! Besides, I've already bet $25 on a friend that 'Cars' will win."

Daffy said, "That's great! Everyone will be congratulating Pixar, even if they didn't particularly LIKE the film, and forgetting about us!"

"Now to finish my secret weapon!" Bugs said, and ran into the basement.

…

The next morning, the sky was gray and dark. Ominous storm clouds floated in the sky, blocking out the sun. But inside the house of Wile E. Coyote…

"FINALLY!" Daffy shrieked.

"What is it?" Wile E. and Bugs were in suspense.

Daffy held up the newspaper in delight. " 'CARS' DIDN'T WIN THE OSCAR!"

"YIPPEE!" Bugs shouted happily.

The coyote agreed, "It's about time. Unfortunately, I lost the bet with my friend. Now I have to pay him $25."

Daffy laughed. "So what? It looks like Pixar's finally starting to slip in popularity!"

Bugs then thought. "Now what can I do? I want to perform my secret weapon to dose anti-Looney Tunes folks!"

Wile E. Coyote then noted, "We have a THIRD rival now… Spongebob Squarepants. He reigns supreme as the best cartoon on TV."

Bugs Bunny gasped in horror. "NOT SPONGEBOB!"

Daffy got a terrible idea. "Hey, let's kill him," he told Bugs.

"NO!" the coyote shouted. "No killing! That's a terrible idea!"

Daffy argued, "But YOU always try to kill the Road Runner!"

Wile E. said, "That's different, and besides… let's change the subject, OK? I heard rumors about this upcoming 'Cartoon Cartoon Network' channel."

"What's it about?" Daffy asked nervously.

"It's going to be launched next year. It will be a digital cable channel full of CN-original programming, both old and new. This could mean that they might remove all the new stuff off of Boomerang!"

Bugs smiled and added, "Dat's good to know."

The coyote added, "Plus, there's even more good news. Loonatics Unleashed might be canceled!"

"WHOOPEE!" Bugs and Daffy shouted in unison! "THAT'S GOOD NEWS!"

"Maybe they'll pay more attention to US than those knock-offs!" Daffy said with glee.

"Yeah!" Bugs laughed. "Also, I'm gonna try and pay a visit to da Cartoon Network boss, while I…" he whispered the rest of the plan to Daffy, whom smiled evilly.

"Here we go again," Wile E. Coyote shrugged.


	5. Chapter 5: Competition from an Ogre

Chapter Five

Competition From an Ogre

NOTE: Shrek and DreamWorks are all trademarks and copyrights of Viacom International, a subsidiary of Paramount Pictures.

Wile E. Coyote couldn't sleep. He heard Bugs Bunny giggling downstairs. So he got out of bed and sneaked downstairs. Bugs was chuckling as he slept on the couch in the den. Knowing he was dreaming, Wile E. whispered, "What's so funny?"

"Ssh…" Bugs said in his sleep, "don't tell anybody but I have a great plan. Daffy and I are gonna go around town and change all da Shrek merchandise and promotional stuff to feature OUR likenesses on dem! Hee-hee!"

"Uh-oh," Wile E. said. "You might get in trouble."

But the rabbit insisted in sleep-talk, "Naw, those Viacom jerks are stupid!"

This was enough for the coyote. He ran up to his room again. "This is becoming too much!" he said. "Daffy and Bugs will do ANYTHING to be popular again. Messing around with Shrek could be disastrous. I mean, I am sick of seeing Shrek everywhere, but I don't take it out like they are going to."

…

The next morning, Daffy and Bugs were talking. "You got da stash?" the rascally rabbit asked.

Daffy opened up a bag. "Right here!"

Inside it were a bunch of Bugs and Daffy dolls, posters, photos of their heads and full selves, crude drawings of them, and costumes of themselves.

"Dis is gonna be a riot!" Bugs laughed.

"Yeah, ain't I a stinker?" Daffy winked.

Bugs frowned. "Hey, dat's MY catchphrase!"

The black duck then announced, "Well, let's get a head-start before the coyote wakes up!" They left through the back door and ran off to town.

Wile E., still asleep in his bed, finally woke up. He yawned, stretched and rubbed his face a bit, and went downstairs to see how his friends were doing. However, he had noticed that they just left! "Oh no! They must have already gone to do their dastardly plan! Well, I guess it's up to me to stop them, as always." He threw off his bathrobe, jumped into his car and drove toward the city.

…

There was a billboard for "Shrek the Third." Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck crept over to the ladder and climbed up it to the billboard, and got to work. Half an hour later, instead of Shrek holding onto the "3" logo, Daffy Duck was holding onto the WB shield. A picture of Bugs Bunny's face was plastered over the donkey's face. The text was also changed, so it would read "Be sure to watch BUGS AND DAFFY!"

A huge Shrek balloon was floating on top of a building. Daffy deflated the balloon and put up another balloon in its place; this one of Daffy Duck!

A life-size Shrek statue was standing in front of a movie theater. Bugs sneaked over to it, opened the bag and slipped a Bugs Bunny costume over it!

There were movie posters for Shrek 3 at various theaters, bus stops and subway stations. The two, Bugs and Daffy, changed them all by plastering pictures of themselves onto the posters.

…

Wile E. Coyote walked around town. He was too late! All of the Shrek promotional materials were changed to feature the likenesses of Daffy and Bugs! The Shrek logos were all changed to the Looney Tunes logo, and the DreamWorks logos were replaced with WB shields. The coyote couldn't believe what they had done! However, nobody seemed to notice the change to the Shrek-related things. Soon, he found Bugs and Daffy preparing to paste a picture of themselves posing together over a display cutout of Shrek and Donkey. "AHA!" Wile E. shouted.

"Busted!" Daffy Duck said.

Puzzled, Bugs asked, "How did ya know what we were gonna do?"

The coyote explained, "I, er… heard you shouting in your sleep last night."

"I gotta learn to keep my big mouth shut at night," the rabbit muttered to himself.

Daffy then butted in, "But at least we're finished! Now all we have to do is play the waiting game. Where's your car, Coyote?"

…

At Wile E.'s house, Bugs and Daffy were hiding in the den with the shades pulled down. "I can't believe you're doing this," Wile E. Coyote told his friends.

"It's for a good cause," Bugs Bunny began to explain.

"Yeah," Daffy added. "This stunt will help boost our popularity! Maybe the movie theaters will decide not to run the Shrek movie and instead run our films!"

"Not very likely," Wile E. said.

Bugs said, "Well, da movie comes out in a few days. Let's see how it does!"

…

Eventually, the movie came to theaters. Hiding in a trashcan, Daffy saw a line leading into the theater. Nobody seemed to notice the altered promotional artwork. The line stretched for miles. Daffy then ran home to tell his friends the horror.

Bugs stopped him first. "Look at dis, Daffy!" He showed the duck a newspaper. In the front page, in big black letters, it said "NEW 'SHREK' BREAKS ANIMATION RECORD AT $122 MILLION!" A picture of Shrek with a really stupid-looking grin was next to it.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Daffy screamed.

And under it, it read, "Vandals Try to Sabotage Shrek's Popularity! $10,000 Reward for Capture!"

Bugs noted, "Someone must have snitched. Was it you, coyote?!"

"No," Wile E. said, trying not to act suspicious. "Apparently, the people from DreamWorks must have seen your 'artwork.' Now they want to capture you both."

"We're gonna have to hide out," Daffy announced as he began closing the window shades and locking the doors. "We will need to stay put here until 'Shrek 3' is eventually pulled from the theaters… which will be NEVER!"

The coyote laughed, "That's ridiculous! It'll probably still be in theaters for a couple of months. Besides, we have a bigger worry than some silly ogre… Pixar is coming up with another movie this June!"

"I know," Bugs added. "Another CGI talking-animal movie. Who cares?"

"Well, Bugs," Daffy said, "looks like we've got another crazy scheme coming up!"

…

The next morning, Daffy and Bugs had set up a digital camera in the den. Daffy said, "OK, Bugs. Do your stuff!"

Bugs Bunny then whirled around, and then when he stopped spinning, he was dressed up like a cute female rabbit. "Hey, look at me, I'm a sex-loving girl! I wanna make out with somebody!" Daffy took a picture.

Wile E. Coyote, hearing the sounds from the other room, came in and asked, "What are you guys doing?"

"That's not Bugs, that's a lady bunny! And YOU'RE Shrek!" Daffy shouted. Then he got out a green rubber Shrek mask and pulled it over the coyote's head.

"Hey! Daffy, what the…" Wile E. yelled, though his voice was partially muffled from the mask. The duck tossed the fake ogre over to Bugs, whom pounced on him, trying to kiss. All the while, Daffy was taking more pictures of it.

"Come on, lover-boy!" Bugs giggled.

The coyote wasn't up for it. "Let go! Stop doing this! What's going on?"

The cross-dressed rabbit insisted, "You're Shrek! And I am gonna have sex with you!"

"Stop it!" Wile E. continued saying.

"Cut!" Daffy shouted, and shut off the camera. "That's a wrap!"

Wile E. Coyote got back on his feet and peeled the Shrek mask off of his head. "What were you doing to me?"

Bugs took off his girl disguise and said, "You'll see, coyote!"


	6. Chapter 6: The New President

Chapter Six

Downhill All Over Again or The New President

Daffy and Bugs decided to not release their fake photos that would give Shrek a bad name. This was because after its first week of being released, it went down to second place in box-office profits, and then to third, due to stiff competition from "Pirates of the Caribbean III." It was also getting negative reviews. The hunt for the vandals that tried to sabotage the movie also died down. From then on, it seemed like smooth sailing, until…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Daffy's scream of rage echoed throughout the desert neighborhood.

Daffy was angrily banging his head on the wall in Wile E. Coyote's bedroom. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" Daffy hollered again.

Wile E. was trying to calm down the frustrated duck. "Look, at least you got to be on TV for quite a while."

"I know…" Daffy said. "It's that lousy, stupid, idiotic boss at Cartoon Network! He hates us! He hates us SO much, he decided to pull our classic films from the schedule all over again! Well… how is Bugs taking it?"

"Terribly," the coyote told Daffy. "He shut himself in the basement and won't come out."

Down in the basement of the house, Bugs Bunny was muttering to himself. "Stupid Boomerang… stupid Cartoon Network… stupid boss… stupid Sander Schwartz… stupid Pixar… everything's going downhill again… gotta do something about it…" Suddenly, he grinned evilly. He got a bad idea. "I'll fake my broken leg to da Crap-toon Network boss! Den he'll HAVE to put my films back on Boomerang!"

…

Bugs and Daffy were hiding in the bushes near the Cartoon Network building. "Are you sure this is gonna work?" Daffy asked Bugs.

"Positive!" the rabbit said. "I'll trick him into thinking I got injured due to de cancellation of my show, and when he sees dis, he'll just HAVE to bring back my films!" Then he wheeled out of the bushes in his wheelchair. He had his now-fake cast on. "I'm gonna have to go through da back door so dey don't notice me."

So he did. There was a door that was left open by a staff member and Bugs Bunny was able to quietly wheel into the building. Like last time, the place was eerily quiet. Bugs was able to avoid the security cameras. He slowly walked up the back stairwell, briefly taking off his cast and carrying his wheelchair up the way, and then putting it all back on when he got to the top floor. Bugs rolled over to the boss's office and knocked on the doors.

With a big creak, the huge doors slowly opened up. Bugs began pretending to be in extreme pain as he wheeled himself into the office.

"Oh no…" the Cartoon Network boss said, his face still in the shadows.

"Yes…" Bugs moaned. "You pulled my cartoons from your Boomerang schedule again… and NOW look what happened to me!"

The boss said, "I'm pretty sure you just injured yourself. But how would we banning your cartoons from our networks be the cause of this?"

The rascally rabbit thought up a lie, and began, "It all started on a nice morning. But den, a thug from Cartoon Network comes, tells me dat dey pulled me from da schedule again, and DEN he grabbed me, tied me in a big sack, threw me down a rocky hill, den I landed in de water, which led to a big waterfall! I fell down de falls, and den crashed into dese sharp rocks at da bottom! De impact sent me over to a big harbor, where I got run over by a cruise ship! Luckily, da coast guard saw me, rescued me, and den dey gave me dis cast and wheelchair."

"A likely story…" the boss began. Bugs smiled in hope, until the boss said, "but I am going to have to check if my thugs really did such a thing to you."

"I'm dead," Bugs whispered to himself, then he shouted, "NO! Don't call da thugs! Dey REALLY DID IT! I'm a witness! Take it to da courts!"

But it was too late. The boss picked up the phone and dialed, but he did not call his thugs. He called the Betty Rubble Center! "Hello? This is the Cartoon Network boss. Right now I am talking with Bugs Bunny, who claims to have been beaten up by a thug of mine, resulting in a broken leg that he got a couple of weeks ago… He did break his leg? …I thought so, but… You mean it wasn't a thug that did it, and he had his cast removed a month ago?!… This is an outrage!" Then he hung up. "You lied to me. And you know what I do to Looney Tunes that lie to me…" he menacingly told Bugs Bunny.

…

Outside in the bushes, Daffy said to himself, "I wonder how well it's going."

"NO! DON'T DO DIS! YOU GOTTA BELIEVE ME! WE CAN WORK OUT A DEAL! PLEASE!" Bugs's voice echoed from the top floor of the building.

Wile E. Coyote zoomed right near the building and skidded to a stop. "I must be too late!" he said.

A window opened on the top floor, and Bugs Bunny, complete with his cast and wheelchair, came flying from the window! He fell to the ground, screaming on the way. A big crash was heard when he hit the sidewalk. The wheelchair was totally mangled, and the cast opened up, revealing its hinges.

"I should've known this was going to happen," the coyote said.

Daffy added, "And YOU keep trying to stop us! Don't tell me you're AGAINST our plans!"

Wile E. explained, "I DO want our films back on the air, but what you guys are doing is not the right way to do it. So far, you've set the Cartoon Network stars up as illegal Russian soldiers, then you tried to rant at Pixar, and you got tossed out the window by the CN boss many times, and you tried to ruin Pixar's computer systems, AND you tried to sabotage the success of…"

"SSSH!" Bugs put his gloved paw over Wile E.'s mouth. "Ix-nay on the Ek-shray! We could go to prison!"

"Maybe Daffy and I shouldn't have busted you out of prison in the first place!" Wile E. argued.

"Oh yeah?" Bugs shouted.

The coyote said, "Right here!"

Bugs added, "Now!"

They both pounced at each other and went into a big cartoonish fight cloud, with punches and other bad sounds coming from it. They were squabbling at each other in an unintelligible manner.

"Uh, guys?" Daffy asked. "GUYS!!!" he screamed. Bugs and Wile E. stopped fighting.

"We WON'T give up! We CAN'T give up! We WON'T give up!" Daffy boldly told the two.

"You mean we 'SHAN'T give up'," Wile E. Coyote corrected.

"Shut up, I'm on a roll here," the duck said. "We will NOT surrender! We will continue the war with Cartoon Network, AND Pixar, AND Sander Schwartz…"

Wile E. said, "Uh, Daffy, I have some news about Schwartz. I will tell you back at my house."

…

Later, they locked the door at Wile E.'s house. The coyote let out the big news. "Listen, guys. Scooby-Doo told me that Sander Schwartz might be retiring from Warner Bros. Animation very soon."

Bugs and Daffy gasped in delight. "YA-HOOOOOO!" they shouted and jumped.

"This could be the best news of the year!" Daffy said, obviously overjoyed.

"It could be!" Bugs agreed. Then he said "Ya-HOOOOO!" again.

Wile E. Coyote just couldn't help it. "YA-HOOOOO!" he sang and hopped up in delight.

In a minute, all three of them were jumping up and _yahoo_-ing. They were so happy they forgot about their cancellation from TV for a bit. They danced, and slapped hands, and laughed until their sides ached.

Daffy, wiping a tear of joy from his eye, said, "I'd better call the gang and tell them the good news!" He ran over to the telephone and dialed. "Hello, Porky? It's me, Daffy. Pass on the good news! Sander Schwartz might no longer be president of Termite Terrace!"

"Ee-ah-O-OK, Daffy." Porky hung up, then picked up the phone again and dialed Sylvester. "Hello, is t-t-this Sylvester?"

On the other side of the line, Sylvester jumped with joy at the good news. He then proceeded to call Tweety, whom then called Lola Bunny, whom called Pepe le Pew, whom called the Tasmanian Devil, whom made a long-distance intergalactic call to Marvin the Martian, who also made a long-distance call from Mars to Yosemite Sam, who called Elmer Fudd, whom called Foghorn Leghorn, whom called Henry Hawk, whom then called Hubie and Bertie, whom called the Goofy Gophers, whom called Witch Hazel, whom called Granny, whom then called Beaky Buzzard, whom called Private Snafu, whom called Charlie Dog, whom called Ralph Wolf, whom called Sam Sheepdog, whom called Sniffles, whom then called Speedy Gonzales…

"…maybe they'll get us back on TV. I've always wanted to be on TV. I hope the new WB president is nice. Why do they call him a president? He doesn't run the country or live in the White House. Maybe he will live in a white house. Why do they call it the White House? Something more official would have been nice, such as the hall of the president. But there'd be more than one hall in the house. I hope I appear in another movie, like Space Jam. But why did they call it Space Jam? It didn't take place in space and we didn't jam. And be sure to tell the next person you call the good news about Schwartz." Sniffles then hung up.

Speedy Gonzales sighed a big sigh of relief from the long call Sniffles just made. Then he dialed another number. "Hola, ees thees Senor Cool Cat? I have Bueno news! The loco Senor Sander Schwartz, he will be retiring as preseedent of Warner Bros. Cartoons!"

"Like, who is this Sander Schwartz guy?" Cool Cat asked on the other side of the line. "I haven't worked for Warner Bros. Animation since 2000, man, and that was before Schwartz's time, whoever he is. So adios, baby." He hung up.

…

"Well guys," Daffy told Bugs and Wile E., "the word has been spread. All the Looney Tunes are happy to know that Schwartz may be leaving!"

Bugs added, "I guess it's smooth sailing for us from now on."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," the coyote told his friends. "Pixar is releasing 'Ratatouille' later this month, and to my knowledge, it will instantly become a box-office smash, and will be really popular while we become forgotten. Worse yet, it could be another 'Finding…"

"DON'T SAY IT OUT LOUD!" Daffy warned.

Wile E. said, "Oh, sorry. I know how traumatic it was how that movie, as well as Pixar, endangered our jobs."

"Yeah," Bugs added sadly. "I also heard dat de new president of Termite Terrace is gonna be a woman!"

Daffy was surprised. "A WOMAN? Then she'll HAVE to treat me us well! Ever since Schwartz, WB Animation has been doing too many action shows and less comedy. Anyways, I hope everything will go well with her in charge…"


	7. Chapter 7: Pixar Strikes Again!

Chapter Seven

Pixar Strikes Again!

All was not so bright at the house of Wile E. Coyote. A loud, echoing "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" echoed throughout.

"Look at this!" Daffy Duck shrieked, showing Bugs Bunny a newspaper. "That stupid 'Ratatouille' is number one at box-office!"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Bugs screamed.

Wile E. Coyote ran from the kitchen. "What's going on? What's with all the screaming?"

"Ratatouille is right at the top at box-office!" the duck angrily said, blinking back tears. "Looks like I'll have to buy us all walkers and canes and make reservations at the nearest rest home!"

Bugs angrily added, "It's a crying shame!" He slapped his forehead three times.

Daffy boasted, "I'd rather jump in front of a train than suffer through the success of another Pixar movie!"

"No!" Wile E. said. "Suicide is NOT a good idea."

"But we're CARTOONS!" Daffy protested. "We can't die from getting hit by trains!"

Wile E. thought about it and said, "You are right. But it is still a dangerous idea. I will show you."

Within a minute, they were standing at the nearest railroad crossing. The red signal lights began to blink on and off, and the crossing gates began to lower as bells began clanging. Wile E. Coyote then jumped onto the tracks, facing the headlight of the oncoming train in the distance.

"What are ya DOING?" Bugs Bunny asked.

The coyote explained, "This is what happens when you try to do something stupid."

The oncoming train blared its horn several times, and then speeded through the crossing, plastering Wile E. to the front of the locomotive's hood. It continued traveling a bit, but then with a squeal of its brakes, it slowed down to a complete stop. The engineer climbed out of the locomotive and pulled the coyote from the front of the train as if he were made of rubber.

"Well, well, if it isn't you again," the engineer said in a heavy Brooklyn accent.

"Hi…" Wile E. said nervously.

"You have to keep going on the railroad tracks even though it's against the law," the engineer told him. "Why don't you look or listen?"

The coyote explained, "I wasn't chasing that Road Runner this time. I was demonstrating to my friends there how bad it is to jump in front of a train."

The engineer said, "Well, you picked the wrong time, bub! These commuters are gonna be late to their stop in Cucamonga."

"I apologize for the inconvenience," Wile E. Coyote said, shook hands with the engineer, whom got back into his locomotive, started up the train and left. The crossing was clear, the signals deactivated and the gates rose, and all the car drivers let out a big sigh of relief before continuing with their driving.

"I can't believe you did that!" Bugs said.

"This was so you guys wouldn't do it," Wile E. told them. "It isn't a good idea to hurt yourself due to becoming unpopular, thanks to Pixar again. Anyways, I don't think you should bash 'Ratatouille' just because it's a talking-animal movie and because it's made by Pixar."

Daffy then had an idea. "Hey Bugs, how about one of us goes to see that 'Ratatouille' and see how good it is? We could steal ideas from Pixar!"

"Great idea, Daffy," Bugs agreed. "It was YOUR idea, so YOU go."

Daffy said, "Fine by me."

…

And so Daffy went in disguise to see the movie. Later he came back to the house, and he angrily threw off his trenchcoat and sunglasses.

"Well, how'd it go?" Wile E. asked.

Daffy answered, "That movie was stupid! It wasn't funny and there weren't any good jokes for me to imitate! Plus, everybody was laughing out loud at the bad jokes!"

The coyote said, "A typical response of an audience to a Pixar movie."

"Plus," Daffy added, "the animation looked very similar to any other CGI movie, but everyone loved it and treated it as the best animation in the world! Someone also said that 'Looney Tunes' would be better if it were animated like Pixar."

"Dat's an outrage!" Bugs angrily said.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk. I can't believe people are acting like this," Wile E. sadly said.

"Say, I've got a stupendous idea!" Daffy said. "Maybe we should get Brad Bird to direct our next Looney Tunes projects! Then people might like them!"

"Forget it," Wile E. Coyote told them. "People like the movie because Pixar's making it and because Brad Bird is director, not because it's a talking-animal movie. If the movie were produced in 2D animation, then it'd still be successful."

Bugs smiled and said, "Why, dat's just it! What if we close down all de other CGI animation studios? It could eliminate da competition, and Pixar could have a REAL reason to be the most popular animation studio!"

"But then people will like Pixar just because it's CGI!" the duck countered. "They already like their so-called 'quality' and writing and crew."

"I think that is actually a good idea!" Wile E. said. "But you two had better not try to eliminate the other animation studios. I do not want to do it either. It would just be dumb luck if that happened."

Daffy then noted, "Look, why do we guys always talk about these things here? Can't we go somewhere else to do this?"

"Like where?" Bugs asked.

…

They arrived at Joe's Café, only to find it was out of business.

"It must have had to do with the cancellation of our cartoons," Daffy said bitterly.

Bugs Bunny added, "So now we can't do any more 'Eat at Joe's' jokes. Dat's dumb."

"Maybe we could ask Sylvester to help us out with something?" the coyote suggested.

Daffy was pleased with that. "Maybe he could join up with our little team of trying to make Looney Tunes become popular!"


	8. Chapter 8: Beaten By a Rat

Chapter Eight

Baby Buggy Wayan OR Beaten by a Rat

Bugs Bunny was talking on a pay phone. He was saying, "OK, dat sounds good! I see… uh-huh… well, thank you for telling me da news! See ya!" He hung up and ran over to Daffy and Wile E. "Guess what?" he told them. "Baby Face Finster is FINALLY going to sue dose Wayans!"

"FINALLY!" Daffy shouted in delight.

Wile E. smiled and said, "Cool! Maybe things are starting to look up again."

Daffy then said, "Well, let's go see Sylvester!"

They went over to his apartment and rang the bell. It was actually a combination of bells, buzzers, tones and whistles! "Apartments always have crappy doorbells," Bugs noted.

The door opened, and Sylvester answered. "I need to replace that door buzzer," he was saying to himself, until he saw the three toons. "Oh, hiya Daffy, Bugs, Wile E! What are you all doing here?"

"We're having hard times!" Daffy whined. "We've been canceled from TV, and Pixar's dominating the animation market again! The Cartoon Network boss thinks we're bad guys!"

"But on the lighter side," the coyote added, "Sander Schwartz has left Warner Bros. Animation, and we might have the stars of 'Little Man' sued for plagiarizing Bugs Bunny's original 'Baby Buggy Bunny.'"

"That's cool," Sylvester said. "I'm going to have my apartment cleaned or cockroaches. They help around the house and do chores, but they're starting to become a nuisance."

Before Sylvester could ask, Daffy answered, "Sure, Sylv, you can stay at Wile E.'s place for that time."

…

Back at Wile E.'s house, the doorbell rang. The coyote went to answer it. But when he opened the door, he was shocked to see a gigantic flying saucer parked right in front of his house! Standing right at the porch was Marvin the Martian with an annoyed expression. "You are probably wondering why I am here," the alien said.

"Why are you here, Marvin?" Wile E. asked.

Bugs growled, "Grr, Marvin da Martian! Dat name makes my blood boil!" He ran over to the door with a surly-looking expression.

Marvin told the rabbit, "You know, Earth rabbit, we should end this little feud we have against each other. It will not turn out good in the end with your bad attitude like this."

Bugs Bunny then forced a big, phony smile that looked really awkward and had his eyes closed. Then he walked into a closet with his eyes wide open, and he aimed an ACME Straitjacket Bazooka at Marvin, and fired at him. The rabbit still had the phony smile. Then as he was about to munch on a carrot, Marvin warned him, "You're only kidding yourself, bucko!"

Helping untie the Martian, Wile E. asked him, "So why are you here for?"

"I just wanted you to know that WB is not releasing ANY of my films to DVD!"

Daffy countered, "But there's a couple of your cartoons on the first Golden Collection."

Marvin then added, "But not any of the others."

"Maybe it's because you're sort of obscure, like those Goofy Gophers, as well as Hubie and Bertie and Charlie Dog and Merlin the Magic Mouse," Wile E. suggested.

"Hmm, yes…" Marvin agreed. "Well, I shall go over to Warner Bros. and complain myself!" He went back to this spaceship and took off with a loud whooshing sound.

The coyote ran after, shouting, "Wait! Don't go there!" But then he stopped halfway and went back to his place. "Well, 'Ratatouille' has made past the $150,000,000 point in box-office."

"Grrrr! Pixar should have something BAD happen to it!" Daffy bitterly said.

"But there could be hope for the 2-D animation market," Wile E. continued. "'The Simpsons Movie' is doing very well at box-office."

Bugs then countered, "Yes, but dat's da SIMPSONS, not us! Dey've been on TV for almost twenty years, and WE'VE been around longer!"

Sylvester added, "Right. Marvin made a cameo on an episode of the Simpsons, as he told me."

"Besides, 'Family Guy' is more popular nowadays," Bugs added. "Remember when you and Elmer and I made cameos on dat show?"

"Yes," the coyote noted. "Even though I had my voice dubbed over for it. Then there was the 'Robot Chicken' segment you and Daffy co-starred in."

Daffy laughed. "Oh yeah! How could I forget, 'B. Rabbit?" He elbowed Bugs jokingly.

The rabbit replied, "You know I hate dat nickname!"

Wile E. then announced, "Well, since I am mostly no longer needed as an actor, I think I'll become a painter!"

"You mean dat you're just gonna paint houses?" Bugs asked in shock.

"No," the coyote explained. "I mean I'm going to paint pictures for art galleries and stuff like that. You know, an artist."

Daffy asked, "But why an artist?"

He told Daffy, "You've seen my artwork before. Remember how I'd paint those fake backgrounds and tunnels that would turn real, and then phony again? I found an agent to help me with this! Besides, I also set up a studio in my spare room."

Sylvester smiled. "Cool, but I'm gonna get some grub first." He walked over to the refrigerator, opened it up, but only found an empty bottle of wine, half an apple and a really rotten sandwich. The cat fell over. "You've got nothing to eat here, coyote!"

"I know," Wile E. said. "Daffy and Bugs have been eating quite a bit. But I will be going to the supermarket soon. Let me show you guys my new art studio."

…

So Wile E. Coyote showed his friends his new art room. Inside, the walls were painted white, and there was a paint-splattered worktable, while some canvases were spread against one wall and some cans held paintbrushes. An easel was also set up, and there were some floor lamps aimed at one corner.

"That corner there is in case I paint a portrait," Wile E. told his friends. "It's not much, but it's a start."

"That's pretty cool," Daffy said. "You never know when it can come in handy!" He slyly winked to Bugs, and they both softly chuckled.


	9. Chapter 9: A Bad Dream

Chapter Nine

A Bad Dream

Daffy was sound asleep on the den couch. Suddenly, a bright flash of light woke him up! Bugs Bunny pulled up the window shade, and grabbed the duck. "Daffy, terrible news!" he told Daffy. "Pixar is gonna do a rip-off of us Looney Tunes!"

"WHAT?" Daffy screamed.

"I'm afraid it's true," Wile E. Coyote sadly said. He held up a newspaper. It said "PIXAR'S 'BUTCH BUNNY' EXPECTED TO BE A BIG HIT." 

Daffy scanned the headline. "Oh my God," he said, "I'm being ripped off as 'Dudley Duck' and will be voiced by John Ratzenberger!"

"And my fake identity will be performed by some dumb actor named Tom Cruise!" Bugs complained.

Wile E. added, "And it says here that my rip-off ego is named Cunn E. Coyote and will be voiced by J.C. Chasez." 

Daffy said, "But that's an N'Sync member! I thought they broke up years ago."

"Actually, Daffy, N'Sync reunited last night, when they announced da new movie," Bugs told him." 

"Also," the coyote noted, "J.C. Chasez once dressed up like Scooby-Doo. So he's had some experience impersonating a cartoon character!"

"Let me see that article," Daffy said, grabbing the newspaper out of Wile E's paws. He scanned it quickly and shouted, "Oh no! It's going to come out in theaters TODAY!"

"That's impossible," Wile E. gasped. He read the article and found it out. "Oh no, it IS being released today! We've got to stop it! But we have to work fast."

"To da Looney-mobile!" Bugs joked.

…

At Pixar, Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester and Wile E. rounded up Porky Pig, Tweety, Speedy Gonzales, Marvin the Martian, the Tasmanian Devil, Pepe Le Pew, Gossamer, Yosemite Sam, Elmer Fudd, Foghorn Leghorn and others, and they charged into the building.

"OH NO!" the manager of Pixar shouted.

"Listen, bub," Daffy nastily told the manager. "You've ruined my life. You've crippled the Looney Tunes. And NOW you rip us off? THIS IS WAR!"

The man got out a walkie-talkie and shouted into it, "Code red! Code red! The Looney Tunes got wise about our new movie!"

Two big burly guards chased after the WB characters, but then had them cornered in a dead end.

…

Within minutes, the Looney Tunes were locked in a jail cell in the basements of Pixar Animation Studios. "Wait until I tell the media about Pixar's dungeon," Wile E. muttered to himself.

Daffy angrily said, "They can't get away with this. I'm going to escape. Help me here, Bugs."

"Eh, sure thing, duck!" Bugs began burrowing downward and Daffy followed. Soon, they were out of the cell! "You're on your own now," Bugs told Daffy, going back through the hole into the dungeon cell.

As Daffy walked down the corridors, he saw tons of classic cartoon characters locked in cells throughout the dungeon. One had Mickey Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, Winnie-the-Pooh and other classic Disney characters, and another had Tom, Jerry, Droopy, Red Hot Riding Hood, Screwy Squirrel, various wolves and George and Junior in it. And then another cell contained Betty Boop, Popeye, Olive Oyl, Bluto, Little Lulu, Little Audrey, Baby Huey and Bimbo. Another cell had Mighty Mouse, Heckle and Jeckle, Dinky Duck, Sidney the Elephant, Gabby Goose and other Terrytoons. And yet another had Woody Woodpecker, Andy Panda, Chilly Willy, Oswald the Lucky Rabbit, Wally Walrus and some other Walter Lantz characters. Daffy shuddered at the sight of this.

He found a door at the end of the hallway. For some reason he began to feel a little smaller. He opened the door and found…

The boss of Pixar was sitting on a throne and wearing a crown, and a bunch of people were swimming in a huge pile of money! "Yes! Our 'Butch Bunny' is the biggest success yet!" the boss cried out. "It's made $300 million at box-office, and just on its first day!"

"NOT SO FAST!" Daffy hollered. "You ripped off us Looney Tunes, and now I'm going to sue you! Remember the whole 'Little Man' incident?"

The boss said, "Oh, WE were originally going to make 'Little Man,' but then we switched over to 'Cars' instead. Ever since we beat your pathetic little home movie, 'Looney Tunes Back in Action' four years ago, we've been longing to make you Looney Tunes unpopular again! So we decided to do a rip-off!"

"AHA!" Daffy shouted out. "So you ARE plotting to rebel against me! Wait until I tell Bugs and Wile E. about this!" As he said this, he was beginning to get a little smaller.

"Face it," the king laughed. "It's no longer 1955. 2-D animation is out, and CGI is in! So are action-adventure cartoons. That's why we had the Loonatics guest-star in this movie! Now to make you EXTINCT."

Daffy was now very small. "Hey! What happened?" he shrieked. "I'm tiny!" Now the boss grabbed the tiny Daffy by the tail feathers, and a woman in shackles got out a huge canister with weird green liquid in it. "DIP?" Daffy was shocked. "I thought that only existed in 'Roger Rabbit!' What are ya gonna do? NO! NO!" The boss let go of Daffy and dropped him into the dip, the duck screaming all the way. But he never splashed into the dip…

…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Daffy woke up screaming on the den couch. He was in a cold sweat, and his heart was racing. It was still dark outside.

Bugs and Wile E. burst into the room. "What's da big idea, Daffy?" Bugs asked. "It's 4:00 in de morning! Why did you scream?"

"Bugs! Coyote!" Daffy said in a tense manner. "What's Pixar's next movie? When's it coming out? Is N'Sync still together? Are Tom and Jerry in a dungeon?"

"Eh, I think you had a nightmare, duck," Bugs said.

"A nightmare?" Daffy asked. He laughed nervously. "Woo-hoo… it was just a nightmare, a dream, all of it was fake! Pixar doesn't have a dungeon! There's no Butch Bunny!"

Sylvester walked in yawning. "What's going on? I heard a scream."

"Daffy had a nightmare," Wile E. told the cat.

"It was about Pixar! They were making a Looney Tunes rip-off and they locked us in a dungeon and I turned tiny and the boss was a king!" Daffy said.

Wile E. began to laugh at this.

"Dis is serious!" Bugs angrily told the coyote.

"Plus," Daffy added, "I hope this wasn't one of those prophetic dreams, the ones that predict the future!"

"Most likely not," Wile E. said. "Pixar's so successful they don't need to do a rip-off of Looney Tunes."

"OK," Sylvester told his friends. "I heard Cartoon Network now has their first live-action TV show! It's the end of the world!"

"Yes, but even though it has some animation in it, it is ruining Cartoon Network's image," Wile E. added. "They will also be showing 'Big Bad Beetleborgs' as well." He shuddered.

"Not the Beetleborgs!" Daffy was shocked. "I think we'll need some help on how to become popular anymore."

"And I know just who to call," the coyote said.

…

Within minutes, Bugs, Daffy, Sylvester and Wile E. were meeting with the Scooby-Doo gang in the malt shop. The gang was wearing their outfits they've been using on "What's New, Scooby-Doo?" and Shaggy and Scooby were sharing a big meatball sub.

"OK," Daffy said. "How come you guys are still popular? You manage to let the Cartoon Network boss rerun your old shows, and Shaggy and Scooby have a new but admittedly crappy TV series, and you still make direct-to-video movies."

"Uh," Fred began. "Well, I can explain that. It's funny you should say that, because I…"

"Fred's been rather clueless since early this decade," Wile E. told his friends. "He's not as smart as he was anymore."

"Oh, I'm still smart enough to lead the gang!" Fred argued. "Uh, did we ever change the tires in the Mystery Machine?"

"Hey, I know you!" Shaggy said to Wile E. "You appeared in one of our TV episodes!"

"You DID?" Sylvester asked the coyote.

"Well, yes," Wile E. explained. "Since Scooby-Doo was now being produced by Termite Terrace, and in a last resort to get me in new material before they canceled 'Looney Tunes,' Sander Schwartz agreed to let me and the Road Runner make a cameo. It was in 'New Mexico, Old Monster.'"

"And we and Scooby appeared in your little 'Back in Action' film!" Shaggy added.

"Ryeah! We did!" Scooby said. Then he accidentally got some tomato sauce from his sub on Daphne's all-purple dress.

Daphne gasped, "Ew! I just had my dress done!"

The coyote said, "And another thing, Daphne, lately you've become engrossed by your hair and clothes. Why is that?"

"It all comes from working on 'A Pup Named Scooby-Doo' back in the late 1980s," Daphne explained.

"I also know something you can do with today's Scooby-Doo gang," Bugs told Wile E. Then he said to the gang, "Scrappy-Doo!"

Shaggy screamed. "AAAAAAAAAAH! WHERE? WHERE?"

Velma and Daphne clutched each other. "Where is Scrappy?" Velma asked in a worried tone.

"Hey, you two must be in love with each other!" Daffy laughed.

Velma angrily told the duck, "Don't believe those nasty Internet rumors about us, as well as the ones about Shaggy being a drug-user."

"Right!" Shaggy agreed. "I'm perfectly clean!"

Scooby added, "Me too!"

"Let's just get out of here," Sylvester said.

…

As they were on the bus back to Wile E's house, Bugs said, "Well, dat didn't work out de way we hoped it would."

"It just goes to show how different the Scooby-Doo gang is than they were back in 1970," Wile E. Coyote said to his friends.

"Agreed." Daffy said. "Now let's just get home and pretend this whole nightmare I had and the argument with the Scooby gang never happened."


	10. Chapter 10: Return of Ratatouille

Chapter Ten: Return of Ratatouille

DISCLAIMER: Bart Simpson and Stewie Griffin are all copyrighted by 20th Century Fox.

Daffy was at a big department store, muttering to himself. He then came across a big display for the DVD release of "Ratatouille." There were tons of discs of the film on sale. Daffy growled angrily and kicked over the display with a loud crash. "HEY!" an employee shouted, and then chased after Daffy.

At another shelf, Bugs was rummaging through DVDs. "Here dey are!" he said. "Now what kind of joik would put da Looney Tunes DVDs way in de back?"

Wile E. was carrying a load of food and supplies. Daffy followed him and angrily said, "I can't believe you wanted to come here. People already hate us."

"But I am shopping for our Looney Tune Thanksgiving meeting," the coyote explained. "We will discuss plans and ideas to rejuvenate our popularity."

"Pixar could try to crash it," Bugs added.

But Wile E. said, "The people at Pixar couldn't care less about us." 

"WRONG!" Daffy shouted. "They hate us! They see us as the enemy! They treat us like Afghanistan, Iraq or Vietnam, while they see themselves as the USA! They want to drive us all into the streets. They are laughing evilly now that they stole our spotlight! They're worse than Dexter!"

Dexter, who was shopping with his family at the same store, glared at them. "You'd better not start our feud again, you crazy duck!"

Bart Simpson and Stewie Griffin were also doing some shopping on their own. "Why is Daffy acting like Homer? It seems unnatural for him these days," Bart asked.

Stewie said, "Perhaps he wants to make Pixar nervous. GET HIM!"

Then many of the people in the store began to chase Bugs, Wile E. and Daffy out of the store. The moment they reached the entrance, Daffy pulled a lever that caused the chain-link barrier to lower and block the doors. The Tunes got out safely, but the others got locked in. The threesome panted in the store's parking lot, with the only bright light being from the parking lot light poles, for the sun was setting by now and the sky was a dark orange.

"I can't believe you did that!" Wile E. shouted at Daffy.

The duck countered, "What else could I do? Come on, let's get back to your house. It's getting late. And Sylvester will be wondering what took so long."

…

That night, Wile E. Coyote was trying to sleep. The wind was blowing and pounding against the closed window. He was moaning and softly yelping in his sleep, for he was having a dream…

In his dream, Wile E. got up in the morning and looked at the unusually yellow sky, and then went down to the kitchen to make breakfast for him and his friends. But when he got down, he gasped in horror.

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck were walking around the house, rendered in pure CGI! They looked very unusual as if DreamWorks or Pixar animated them. "What happened to you guys?" the coyote asked.

"We're CGI now!" Daffy said. "We finally found a way to compete with Pixar and for sure, we can win back our audience!"

Bugs was admiring his new look. "Get a load of my nice, fluid, precise animation, unlike dat ugly, stilted 2-D design like YOU have, coyote!"

"Oh come on," Wile E. scolded them, "do you think they're really going to fall for that?"

Daffy laughed. "It's what the public wants!"

Sylvester walked out, also in CGI-form. "Sufferin' succotash! Maybe Pixar can hire us now!"

"And," Bugs told Wile E, "we unleashed our new CGI forms to de newspaper this morning. De fans will LOVE it!"

But outside, an angry mob began to form. They were all evilly shouting.

Daffy was shocked. "They… they HATE US? But we're CGI!" he whined.

"Turns out they now know you're trying to imitate Pixar and are fed up at it," the coyote explained.

A Pixar spokeswoman banged open the door and claimed, "How dare you Looney Tunes try to rip us off! Are you making us look bad?"

"WRONG!" Daffy laughed. "YOU'RE making us look bad. Now we're making ourselves look good!"

"And we need a fourth member to join our CGI clan," Bugs added, and got out some big box. He walked over to Wile E. and said, "Now get inside de magic box."

"No… no!" Wile E. shouted as Bugs was about to drop the box onto him.

…

Wile E. woke up in a cold sweat. He checked his clock. It was 3:01 in the morning. Sylvester ran in, asking, "What happened?" 

"I had the craziest dream," the coyote started. "You and Daffy and Bugs became CGI in an attempt to become popular!"

Sylvester laughed. "We'd never do that! We despise the CGI techniques used in those new movies!"

…

The Looney Tune gang had just finished Thanksgiving dinner. They all had full stomachs from the veggie turkey Wile E. bought (since Bugs was a vegetarian). They had also discussed on how to deal with their struggling future. Some of them recommended nasty ideas, such as slipping a frame of a nude woman into one of Pixar's latest film, or exposing Spongebob Squarepants as a homosexual, but the coyote had to turn them down. Later…

"Gee," Tweety said in an annoyed tone, watching a recording of the Macy Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV, "there's nothing here but boring musical numbers. We need dose!"

"Why should we?" Daffy asked. "Most modern CGI films just have pop songs sprinkled into the soundtrack."

"Our last, I say, our last music project," Foghorn Leghorn said, "didn't go to well with our fans, that 'Tweety's High-Flying Adventure' movie."

"Right," Daffy said. "We'll need to find yet another way to appeal to our fans again…"


	11. Chapter 11: The Big Trial

Chapter Eleven

The Big Trial

Wile E. Coyote was decked out in a purple cape and turban with a red jewel on it. He was looking into a crystal ball. There wasn't anything visible in the ball. He rubbed his hands on the ball, and dramatically said, "I see a bright future for Pixar, and a dark future for Sony, DreamWorks and the Simpsons. I can predict a CGI talking-animal movie will be winning this year's Annie Awards… possibly a movie starring a bunch of rats with celebrity voices. It will win every award it is nominated for, and Homer Simpson will be yelling 'D'oh' at it… yes, the winner is going to be 'Ratatouille!'"

Daffy put his hand on the ball and said, "Nice work on the psycho mumbo-jumbo, Coyote, but we've got bigger plans this month. One, it's almost the holiday season…" He gestured to all the Christmas decorations around the house and continued, "B, two and second, the trial is tomorrow against Bugs, Baby Face Finster and those Wayans for plagiarism!"

"Yes, I am aware of that," the coyote said, putting away the crystal ball.

Bugs Bunny was trying on his new business suit. "Dis will make me look more professional! We'll HAVE to win de case!"

Wile E. asked, "And if we don't?"

"Den people are gonna like 'Little Man' better than 'Baby Buggy Bunny,'" Bugs said bitterly.

"You're being hypocritical," the coyote said to Bugs and Daffy. "Remember how you said you guys were going to plagiarize Pixar? Well, they'll feel how you did."

"But the Wayans don't CARE about us!" Daffy said, a little louder.

"Let's get a good night's sleep," Bugs said, throwing off his new suit to reveal his nightshirt. "I don't wanna be a defendant being all tired."

…

The next morning, Bugs Bunny was the first one up. He was wide-awake at 4:59 AM with his business suit on. Then he watched his watch change to 5:00 and he began playing the Revile call on a bugle, and then rushed upstairs and yanked Wile E. out of his bed and Daffy out of the guest room, as well as Sylvester out of the bathtub. "Time to go to da courts!" he said happily.

"It's 5 in the morning," Wile E. complained.

"De trial starts at seven. Finster will be here shortly," the rabbit explained. Then a car horn honked. "Dat's him!" He pulled Daffy, Sylvester and the coyote out the door and into Finster's beat-up Honda.

"Glad you guys could make it," Finster growled at them. "It's showtime!" Then they drove off into the now-rising sunrise.

…

Soon, the courtroom was beginning to fill up. The three Wayan brothers (well, cartoonish caricatures of them) were there, and so were Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Sylvester and Porky Pig, as well as Kerry Washington. The jury was full of Looney Tunes, as well as Shaggy Rogers, Lois Griffin and Hank Hill. Lola Bunny was Bugs's lawyer. Elmer Fudd was the prosecutor, and he announced "OK, evewy-body, here comes da judge! Rise!"

Then some weird, elderly, human-looking judge entered, banged his gavel and said, "Order in the court! Be seated." Everyone sat down. "This case of the Looney Tunes suing the Wayan brothers for their 'Little Man' ripping off a fifty-three-year-old cartoon of theirs is now in session."

"I call to the stand, Ant Hill Harry, alias Baby Face Finster!" Elmer said. "Hey, where IS Finster?"

"And where's the coyote?" Sylvester whispered to Bugs.

Suddenly, the door burst open and a mysterious, tall, dark figure in a dark blue trenchcoat and hat with his face in a shadow came in, holding a big pistol. He slowly advanced toward the Wayans, as everyone gasped and shivered in fear. But then the figure dropped his gun, threw off his hat to reveal a bald scalp, and slipped off the trenchcoat to reveal it was Baby Face Finster in a black eye mask! He was standing on Wile E. Coyote, whom was struggling to hold him up and wearing black boots. Finster jumped off Wile E's arms and removed his eye mask and went over to the stand. The coyote sighed with relief and threw off the boots, which banged through a window, shattering it.

"Do you swear to tell the twooth, all twooth, and nothing but the twooth so help me God?" Elmer asked.

"I do. Ladies and gentlemen of the court," Finster announced, "I am here to sue the Wayan brothers for plagiarizing my film, 'Baby Buggy Bunny.' Their 'Little Man' was 'loosely' based off of that old cartoon, with NO acknowledging to me, Bugs Bunny, Michael Maltese, or the great Chuck Jones! In fact, the only time they knew about the rip-off was when they won that Golden Raspberry award for 'Worst Remake Or Sequel!'" Then Daffy whispered something into Finster's ear, and then he continued, "I mean 'Worst Remake Or Rip-off. Bugs, show them the details!"

Bugs Bunny pulled out a TV, and put on a DVD of "Baby Buggy Bunny." "Ladies and gentlemen," he began, "I give you Exhibit A, 'Baby Buggy Bunny!' The original animated masterpiece." He showed them various scenes from the short, stopping after the spanking scene. The Looney Tunes and other jury duty members were laughing out loud at this.

Then he switched discs and announced, "And here is Exhibit B, 'Little Man!'" He showed them several of the scenes from the film, including the parts that directly imitated the cartoon. Nobody laughed at this except for the Wayans.

After that, Elmer came up to Harry/Finster and said, "Mr. Finster, as I wemind you that you are _under oath_, are you SURE that the Wayans stole from you and Bugs Bunny's film?"

"Yes, they did!" Finster insisted.

"OK. You may go back to your seat. And now I call to the stand… KEENEN IVORY WAYAN!" The older Wayan brother came up to the seat, and Elmer pointed at him, "Do you swear to tell the twooth and all that stuff?"

"I do." Keenen Wayan said, in a digitally-altered voice.

"Have you and the others ever seen the cwassic 'Baby Buggy Bunny' cartoon?" he asked.

Keenen spoke in a low voice to Elmer, and nobody else could understand him. Elmer had a shocked look.

"Your honor, I'd like to call for a recess," Wayan said.

"Very well," the judge said.

…

Three hours later, the jury had reached a verdict. Lois Griffin stood up and announced, "We, the jury of the court, have reached the verdict that the Wayan brothers have officially plagiarized 'Baby Buggy Bunny' and are guilty as charged."

The judge banged his gavel and said "Keenen, Myron and Shawn Wayan, I sentence you all to paying a $300 million royalty to the Looney Tunes gang."

"ROYALTIES?" Myron screamed (also in a digitally-altered voice). "We were doing 'fair use!' Other cartoons did the same plot, too!" He continued jabbering nonsensically as he and his brothers were dragged out by two cops.

Then Baby Face Finster slammed the doors shut and locked them. "OK, they're gone! That's a wrap!" he called out.

"Places, people!" Daffy called out as everyone let out a big sigh of relief.

The judge then peeled off his rubber mask to reveal Foghorn Leghorn underneath! In his normal voice, he said "It looks like, I say, it looks like this will teach those boys a lesson!"

"Yeah!" Bugs asked. "We don't really expect to get $300 million, but maybe now dey won't be ripping off other films of ours!"

"I wonder what the news is going to think of this?" Sylvester asked.


	12. Chapter 12: A Close Call

Chapter Twelve: A Close Call

Daffy was trying to paint a picture. It was supposed to depict him stomping on the Wayan brothers and Remy from "Ratatouille." But it came out crude-looking as if a kid drew it. The painting depicted Daffy as a crude black blob with a beak and a moronic expression stomping on two brown vaguely-human figures and a gray oval with two mouse ears. Lots of red paint was around them, supposedly trying to depict blood.

"Grr… I HATE ART!" Daffy screamed. "What a waste of time!"

Sylvester and Wile E. ran into the art studio, and saw the amateurish painting. "What is THAT?" the coyote asked.

Daffy explained, "It's SUPPOSED to be me killing the Wayans and Ratatouille!"

"It looks like a black goose stepping on two brown silhouettes and a weird-looking circle that resembles a mouse," Sylvester said.

"I CAN'T PAINT WELL, OK?!" the duck shouted at the top of his lungs.

Bugs Bunny walked in, still with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" Sylvester asked.

Bugs said, "I can't get over da fact dat we beat dose Wayan brothers in court!"

"But that was almost a month ago," Wile E. told him. "And the movie came out a year and a half ago, so why did we wait to have the trial anyways?"

"It wasn't official yet," Bugs explained. "Finster had to make out all de plans."

"You know," Daffy nastily added, "I wish we won an Annie Award. We did not get ANY of them, and these are made for animation only! WHY DIDN'T WE GET ANY!!!"

"One," Wile E. began, "Disney and Pixar have beaten us at all our nominations. Two, the Annies did not start until 1991, which was years after the original run of our classics."

Bugs bitterly said, "And I bet 'Drat-tatouille' is gonna get de Annie dis year!"

"Right," the coyote agreed. "Even if 'Ratatouille' was made in 2-D animation, it'd still be hyper-successful as it is in real life."

"NO!" Daffy corrected. "It would've bombed! The CGI and the talking animals was what made it big!" 

"The film WOULD'VE bombed if it didn't have Pixar's name on it or Brad Bird was not director!" Wile E. argued. "NOT if it were made in 2-D!"

"Then why do you think our movie bombed in 2003!?" Daffy yelled.

"Bad writing, bad acting by the human cast, it cost too much money to make and promote, Cartoon Network didn't help promote the film, and they released it at a bad time!" Wile E. said, starting to sound annoyed.

"And 'Finding Nemo' jeopardized its success as well!" Daffy angrily stomped his feet.

The coyote added "Larry Doyle also produced some shorts starring us in it that gave us a bad image!"

"NOT LARRY DOYLE!" Sylvester gasped.

"Shut up!" Daffy shouted at Sylvester, and then he said to Wile E. as loud, "Thanks to those Pixar communists and Cartoon Network suits, we're in danger of becoming obscure!"

"You don't even KNOW what obscure means!" Wile E. said.

Daffy yelled, "Right here!"

They shoved each other and got into a big fight. Soon they were punching and kicking each other and calling each other names like "LIAR!" "HAIRBALL!" "MORON!" and "NOODLELOAF!"

"Uh, guys?" Bugs asked. "Guys!" he said a little louder. Then he screamed, "HEY DOCS!"

Daffy and Wile E. stopped fighting.

"I just wanted you guys to stop fighting," the rabbit explained.

"But the Annies is just a month away!" Daffy whined.

Wile E. sighed and said, "There's nothing we can do until then."

"You're right," Daffy agreed. They shook hands and called it truce.

…

A month later, a piercing scream echoed throughout Wile E's house. "AAAAAAAAAAUUUUGH, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Inside, Daffy zoomed the newspaper up to Wile E. Coyote. "LOOK!" he angrily said, blinking back tears. "The front page story! 'Ratatouille' won all the Annie Awards!"

"Just as I predicted!" Wile E. pointed out. "I guess I am a good fortune teller after all!"

"Bugs was right. This IS a crying shame!" Daffy noted angrily, and slapped his forehead five times.

Bugs Bunny angrily ran in and said, "NOW what's da problem?" 

"Look at this!" Daffy shouted, showing Bugs the newspaper. "That dumb 'Ratatouille' won the Annie Awards!"

"IT DID WHAT???!!!" Bugs yelled with a shocked expression as his eyes bugged out and his veins throbbed. Then he screamed loudly and ran over to the front door. Wile E. raced off to follow, and just as Bugs tripped and began falling down the front steps, Wile E. pounced on him and when they hit the ground, Bugs was lying, uninjured, on Wile E. Coyote's stomach.

"You… you saved my life!" Bugs said.

"I know," the coyote said. "I didn't want a repeat of what happened last year. Now could you call me an ambulance?"

…

A few hours later, at the Betty Rubble Center, several patients were there. Wakko Warner had eaten a big balloon and now his stomach was huge. Olive Oyl was having the bones in her arms straightened so they wouldn't always wobble. Brian Griffin was trying to kick the habit of drinking martinis. And Inspector Gadget had his extendable neck tied up in a knot.

In another room, Bugs and Daffy were talking with Wile E., who was now on crutches with his leg in a cast. "I'm sorry I flipped out again, coyote," Bugs said. "But I'm glad you sacrificed yourself to keep me from hurting myself again."

Sylvester ran in, breathing heavily. "What happened?" he asked. "Did Wile E. have a freak-out about Pixar?" 

"No, I did," Bugs explained. "I ALMOST hoit myself again, but de coyote leaped at me and saved me from another injury."

"Yes," the coyote added. "I didn't want Bugs to hurt himself like he did last year, so I had to prevent it from happening all over again. And who knows what will happen when 'Ratatouille' wins the Oscar."

Daffy angrily kicked his foot against the wall. "Stupid Pixar!" he said. "Time to plan the ultimate assault!"

"Hey, I'm with ya!" Bugs said, helping Wile E. with his walking. "And you can join us, Sylvester. And how about you, Wile E?"

"No thank you," the coyote said, "I do not want any part in an assault on Pixar. Besides, I am out of commission for a couple of weeks, most likely."

"OK, we'll do it ourselves!" Bugs laughed. "Wile E. probably can't try to stop us with dat stress fracture of his!"


	13. Chapter 13: That Final Spark

Chapter Thirteen: That Final Spark

Daffy Duck and Bugs Bunny were now wearing green Army-style camouflage fatigues, and Bugs was seated on the couch with Sylvester as Wile E. Coyote was next to them with his broken leg. Daffy was pacing back and forth as he spoke…

"All right, men," he said, "it's time to plan the ultimate assault on the enemy, Pixar Animation Studios! And if it works, we will attack Cartoon Network, and then the Walt Disney Company! First, we'll…" he stalled. "You know, I don't have any idea on how we could attack Pixar!"

"Why don't we order army equipment from Acme's Military Surplus?" Sylvester asked.

Daffy liked that idea. "Good! Bugs?"

Bugs suggested, "Eh, let's get all de other Looney Tunes to band together with us for dis big assault!"

"Great idea!" Daffy said. "Wile E., you have any suggestions?"

"I say we call the whole thing off and…" Wile E. began, but Bugs clamped his muzzle shut.

"No!" Daffy snapped. "This plan is going on. But we don't know when we should attack."

Bugs said, "Why don't we wait a bit to go on with de assault?"

"That's a good idea," Daffy sputtered. "We shall wait until that final spark occurs that will set off the attack."

"If you excuse me, I don't want to be a part of this," the coyote said, getting up and walking over to the kitchen with his crutches. He said to himself when he was out of the way of the other three 'toons, "I think I know what the final spark will be… the Oscars. I bet $25 with an old friend that 'Ratatouille' is going to win."

"No! Double it to $35!" Daffy yelled from the living room. "You're gonna win the bet for sure!"

Bugs corrected the duck, "Eh, doubling 25 does not make 35, Daffy. Do de math!"

"Sorry." Then Daffy continued, "We shall plan the assault date to after the Oscar ceremonies are over. I will call Porky Pig, Tweety, Taz, and the other Looney Tunes. I'll even let Cool Cat in on this one!"

…

The next day, Daffy was using some graphing software on Wile E's computer to plan out the assault. So Wile E. had to use his laptop for his web-surfing. He found a website describing "Bugs Bunny on Ice," which was a Holiday on Ice production. He told Daffy, "Hey Daffy, did you hear about 'Bugs Bunny on Ice?'"

"We're gonna be doing an ice show?" Daffy asked in surprise. "WOW!"

But the coyote explained, "No, it's not going to involve the real us. Instead it has professional ice-skaters disguised as ourselves to perform a musical ice adventure about going around the world." He showed Daffy pictures of the costumed skaters.

"WHAT?!" Daffy screamed in anger. "How could those impostors get away with it?!"

Bugs ran in and said, "Daffy, does dis mean it's time for de assault?"

Daffy calmed down and said, "No Bugs. But I found out there's an ice show in Europe that has people wearing costumes bearing our image."

Wile E. was looking at a picture of the guy dressed as him from the ice show. "Hmm, not a bad likeness," he admitted.

"Even so," Daffy said, "why not just have us appear in the ice show? We can skate!"

Sylvester chimed in, "But I can't skate really well, and neither can the coyote."

Bugs looked in the closet and saw Wile E. Coyote's costume of himself on a hangar. "At least dis coyote suit is better than de one dey're using in dat show." He pulled out something else and shut the door. "Why is there a costume of ME in dis closet?"

"You know I like dressing up in costumes," the coyote said teasingly.

Bugs then told Daffy, "Ice shows aren't really a concern for us. Disney and Pixar are Cartoon Network are bigger concerns right now. Especially with dat runaway talking-animal hit 'Rata…'"

"ENOUGH!" Daffy shouted, and clamped his hand over Bugs's mouth. "I've had it up to HERE with this 'Ratatouille' business! Those CGI talking-animal movies are just as bad as those live-action remakes of classic cartoons!"

Wile E. Coyote then asked them, "Whatever happened to our comic book series? For all I know, DC Comics still has our permission to draw us in new stories."

"Dey still do comics of us," Bugs explained, holding up the latest issue. "And look at dis! It's de most recent issue, and I am NOWHERE to be found in it!"

Daffy looked through it and said, "Funny, I don't remember Sylvester dressing up as me."

"I only did that for Halloween a few years ago," Sylvester explained, "since you stole my 'Sufferin' Succotash' line!"

"However," Bugs began, "we ordered all de military equipment from Acme Industries, and got more military uniforms for da rest of us Looney Tunes. I also set up the phone numbers for all de other Tunes to let dem know when to attack!" He gestured toward a red phone with a bunch of speed-dial buttons.

Wile E. frowned. "I think all of this is stupid," he said. "You guys can't win. You're fighting against Pixar. You'll all probably wind up dead or in jail."

Daffy laughed and said, "If we wind up in jail, we'll break out!"

…

The Academy Award ceremonies came and went. The morning after, which was a beautiful sunny day, Wile E. Coyote looked at the newspaper and found an article stating that "Ratatouille" won the Oscar for Best Animated Feature. Panicked, he tried to hide it so the others wouldn't see it. It wasn't easy doing it while trying to get around in his crutches, though. First he thought he could burn it in the fireplace, but then he noticed that he would want to read it later. So he decided to try putting it under his bed. That didn't work out either, because even a lazy eye could notice it underneath. So he slipped it underneath his bed mattress, sighed with relief, and went back to his breakfast.

…

Two hours later, Daffy went into Wile E's bedroom since he was looking for his missing scarf, and noticed a bit of paper sticking out. Curiosity got the duck, so he pulled out the paper, opened it and looked at it.

Bugs and Sylvester and Wile E. were relaxing in the den, until they heard a loud "EEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" coming from the coyote's room. Wile E. got up and hurried over to his room in horror, and noticed Daffy standing there, panting heavily, his eyes bloodshot, his knuckles sticking out, and sweating profusely, while he stared at the newspaper article that reported "Ratatouille" winning the Oscars. Daffy growled a bit, and the coyote braced himself for the explosion. Instead, he heard mumbling coming from Daffy's beak…

"Stupid Pixar…" he muttered in a low voice. "They defeated the competition. They proved the unthinkable. They swiped the crown from us… It's the final spark…" Then he tore up the paper, saying, "It's time… for… the assault!"

Wile E. gasped. He wished that it were all a bad dream he could wake up from, but it wasn't.

Daffy then got out a megaphone, switched it on, and screamed out, "BUGS! SYLVESTER! TIME TO DO THE ASSAULT!"

Bugs got the cue, and got to the red telephone. He immediately called Lola Bunny, Porky Pig, Elmer Fudd, Tweety, Foghorn Leghorn, Pepe Le Pew, Yosemite Sam, Speedy Gonzales, Marvin the Martian, the Tasmanian Devil, Henry Hawk, Charlie Dog, Granny, Witch Hazel, Rocky and Mugsy, Petunia Pig, Michigan J. Frog, the Barnyard Dawg, Cecil Tortoise, the Goofy Gophers, Hubie and Bertie, Hector Bulldog, Claude Cat, Sylvester Jr., Spike and Chester, Pete Puma, Count Bloodcount, Slowpoke Rodriguez, Sniffles, Beaky Buzzard, Ralph Wolf, Sam Sheepdog, Private Snafu, Colonel Rimfire, Egghead Jr., the Three Bears, Hippety Hopper and even Cool Cat. He told them the same message. "We're gonna do de Pixar assault right now! Get all your military gear and come right over to Wile E's house!"

…

In half an hour, all of the Looney Tunes that Bugs called showed up, all of them in either full military uniforms, or just the helmets. Almost each one of them was holding a weapon. Some of them were in tanks.

"Listen, everyone!" Daffy began. "This is going to be the biggest attack that has ever been done by a cartoon character! So we'll all have to cooperate!"

"I STILL don't think that's a very smart idea," Wile E. began.

Daffy interrupted him, "That's easy for you to say. YOU'RE a super-genius!" Then he continued to the other Toons, "So first, we will all go over to the Pixar building, and THEN we begin firing grenades, shooting guns and cannons, and more, until we finally DESTROY PIXAR!"

All the other Looney Tunes cheered, except for Wile E., whom had a worried expression on his face.

"And now… ON TO BATTLE!" Bugs called out. They all got into the tanks and military jeeps and rumbled off to the Pixar studio.

The coyote gulped and began trembling. "I can't believe the Looney Tunes have come down to this. After my appointment with the doctor about my leg today, I am going to have to stop this nonsense once and for all!"


	14. Chapter 14: The Assault!

Chapter Fourteen: The Assault!

Wile E. Coyote was at the doctor's office, getting an update on his broken leg. "So how much longer do I have to wear this cast?" he asked the doctor.

"On the contrary," the doctor said, "you're ready to get your cast off today. You're completely healed!"

"Good!" Wile E. said. "But can you make it quick? I have to help some friends of mine in a hurry."

"Sure. This won't hurt a bit…" he said, getting out a chainsaw.

…

Later, Wile E. Coyote thought out a plan to stop the other Looney Tunes from their Pixar assault. But it wasn't going to be easy to do it alone. He needed some recruits. First, he went over to the usual desert road and waited for the Road Runner to show up. When he did, he zoomed up and said, "Meep-meep!"

The coyote then held up the following signs: "STOP. WE WILL NOT BE CHASING TODAY. THIS IS MORE SERIOUS." "THE OTHER LOONEY TUNES ARE GOING TO TRY AND DO AN ASSAULT ON PIXAR, AND I AM TRYING TO STOP THEM." "ARE YOU UP FOR IT?"

The Road Runner flicked his tongue and held up his own sign: "YES. I WILL HELP YOU, THOUGH WE ARE NATURAL ENEMIES."

…

Then the coyote came to the house where Scooby-Doo, Shaggy and Fred lived. Ringing the doorbell, Scooby-Doo came to the door and said in a strange-sounding voice, "Rello?"

Wile E. began, "Yes, I am trying to stop a crusade that the… you know, your voice sound strange, Scooby."

"Ruh, I have a cold!" Scooby made up and did a fake cough.

But Wile E. laughed and said, "Nice try, but I can see a bit of the zipper underneath your collar, so you're an impostor!" He tried tugging on Scooby's face, as it began stretching like rubber. "You're really J.C. Chasez!" the coyote said, and tugged a bit more, "No, you're David Beckham… the Chameleon… the Ape Man… no, wait, you're SHAGGY!"

Right after he said this, the latex Scooby-Doo mask slipped right off of the impostor, revealing Shaggy underneath! "Surprise!" Shaggy laughed in his real voice. "But, like, how'd you know it was me?"

"Well, I am a super-genius," Wile E. said. "I could tell by your weird voice, and I remember you dressing like Scooby-Doo on TWO occasions."

"OK, you got me there." Shaggy began removing the rest of his Scooby-Doo suit and prepared to put it back into its box, labeled "H-B COSTUME COMPANY – SCOOBY-DOO." "I did it since I knew you had nearly the exact same groovy Scooby costume like I did!"

The coyote explained, "I had it custom-made. Must've been made by the same guy that made your Scooby suit. OK now, where's the REAL Scooby-Doo?"

Then he noticed another Wile E. Coyote reading a newspaper! The true Wile E. ran over to his double and said, "OK, I' betting YOU'RE the real Scooby-Doo! Or are you Fred?"

Fred Jones entered and said, "Oh, hi there Mr. Coyote. Or are you Scooby in disguise? I can't tell you two apart."

"Don't let this impostor fool you," the genuine coyote explained. "He knows I've dressed like him once. Watch!"

He went back to his impostor, turned him around, found the zipper on the back and began moving it down. Then he peeled off the coyote's mask, to reveal Scooby's face underneath! "Raw, shucks!" Scooby said playfully.

"I'm wise to your tricks," Wile E. told Scooby and Shaggy, "because I am smarter than all of you combined. BUT, this is a more important issue than some mask game. The other Looney Tunes are going to lead an assault on rival Pixar, and the Road Runner and I are going to try to stop them. Want to come help?"

"Man, sounds like you're doing the right thing!" Shaggy agreed.

"We'll relp!" Scooby added.

…

Then Wile E. went over to the apartment that Merlin the Magic Mouse and Second Banana lived in. He rang the bell, and then the magician mouse answered, saying "Well, well, if it isn't Wile E. Coyote. I haven't seen you in a long time, yes…"

"I know," the coyote said. "But this is an emergency. The Looney Tunes are trying to run a crusade against Pixar, and they are in grave danger. We need your help, please!"

"Why, certainly!" Merlin said. Then he called, "Second Banana my boy, someone finally needs us! Bring the magic stuff!"

"OK, Merlin!" Second Banana said, holding a large blue trunk.

"Are there going to be any Indians or leprechauns or hillbillies involved?" Merlin cautiously asked Wile E.

"Not that I know of," Wile E. answered.

"OK, we'll help you!" Merlin said.

…

Wile E. Coyote also recruited Yakko Warner and Penelope Pussycat, whom all volunteered to help him, the Road Runner, Merlin, Shaggy, Fred and Scooby-Doo. They all bundled into Fred's Mystery Machine, with Wile E. behind the wheel.

"Now be careful with this van," Fred said. "We've had it since 1969!"

"I know," the coyote said. "At least I got my $25 from a friend I bet that 'Ratatouille' would win the Oscar." Suddenly, he stopped in front of a line of cars. "Oh, just great! A traffic jam."

"Come along, Second Banana, and we'll go see what it is," Merlin said, getting out his magic carpet. He and Second Banana flew on it and after a bit of traveling, they found a fleet of tanks and army jeeps, all with armed Looney Tunes characters in them. The sky was starting to turn an ominous red. Merlin and Second Banana instantly flew back to the van.

"The reason why we have this traffic jam is because the other Looney Tunes are going by with their army vehicles!"

"We'll have to cut around," Wile E. said. Then he swerved the Mystery Machine and began driving it down the sidewalk and occasionally in between cars onto the other side of the road. Luckily there weren't any police officers to see this. Then he caught up to the other 'Toons, and noticed that they weren't too far from the Pixar studio.

"All right, people," Wile E. told the others, "time to commence Operation: Stop the Pixar Assault!"

…

Over at the Pixar studios, they were having a gigantic party to celebrate winning the Oscar. Suddenly, one of the employees looked out the window and saw the Looney Tunes army approaching! He immediately pressed a button and a klaxon began sounding with red lights flashing. Then he got out a bullhorn and called into it, "CODE RED! CODE RED! WE HAVE AN ENEMY APPROACHING!"

"Is it DreamWorks?" "I bet it's Blue Sky!" "No, it's probably Sony Pictures Animation!" "I'm betting it's DreamWorks." "No, no! It's gotta be Universal!" several people called out.

"No…" the guy said, getting out binoculars. "My God, it's the Looney Tunes! And they have military equipment!"

People began standing there with confused looks.

"Now don't just stand there, we have to fight!"

Now they began to panic and run around, getting ready for a big battle.

…

The tanks and jeeps stopped outside, and Daffy Duck climbed out of the one in the lead. He was in full army gear. He got out a bullhorn, and said, "LISTEN UP, PIXAR! We're fed up with your overrated popularity! We are going to do something we should've done a long time ago! Fire one!"

Daffy poked back into the tank and said, "Psst, Bugs. That's your cue!"

"OK, doc," Bugs said, and pushed the "FIRE" button. The tank shot a bullet at the building, but missed and hit a tree.

Wile E. Coyote and the others came up. "We're too late!" he said in horror. "They've begun the assault!"

The other Looney Tunes were firing all their weapons, but they kept missing the studio. Many of them just hit trees or cars in the parking lot or seagulls flying in the air. They kept at this for a few minutes. The coyote managed to climb into the lead tank, and said to Daffy, "Stop this once and for all!"

"Wile E!" Daffy was shocked. "What happened to your leg? I thought you had a stress fracture!"

"It healed," the coyote explained. "I know you're upset about Pixar being overrated, but you have to stop it! The police might come and arrest all of you! THAT would put an end to the Looney Tunes forever!"

"NO!" Daffy angrily yelled.

In another tank, Scooby-Doo and Shaggy were trying to talk with Elmer Fudd. "Like, you'd better quit while you're ahead," Shaggy was telling him, "or you'll never be on TV again!"

"Cwam it, beatnik," Elmer angrily said. "And you too, dog!"

And in a military jeep, Merlin the Magic Mouse confronted Cool Cat and Colonel Rimfire. "Stop! Desist! What you are doing will cost you your futures."

But Colonel Rimfire aimed his rifle at Merlin's nose. "I say, look here, blasted mouse. That Pixar has already cost us our future!"

The only one that had some success was Penelope, whom attracted Pepe Le Pew. He jumped out of his part of the tank and began chasing after the cat. "It is love, Ma Cheri," he said, "We will make beautiful music together!"

After trying to destroy the studio for fifteen minutes, as everyone in the building was merely doing the duck-and-cover method underneath their desks, Daffy shouted out into his megaphone, "STOP!" They stopped firing. "This isn't working. It's time to bring out… the BOMB."

Marvin the Martian came up with a wheelbarrow that had a big red bombshell in it with "TNT" in white letters.

"That's not a nuke, is it son?" Foghorn Leghorn asked.

"It is 1000 pounds of TNT," Marvin explained, "enough to annihilate a whole building the size of our target."

Daffy commanded, "Good. Load it into the cannon, and let's LAUNCH THE BOMB!"

The coyote cried out, "No! Don't!"

"SHUT UP!" Daffy screamed. They loaded it into a large cannon. "LAUNCH THE BOMB!" the duck then repeated.

Just as the bomb came out of the cannon, Wile E. jumped out in front of it, and with all his might, clenched and flexed until the bomb zoomed right over the building without hurting it. It then landed in a field right behind the parking lot and detonated. The explosion rocked the area, causing everyone to shake and shield their eyes from the flash. Soon, the explosion died down. The Pixar building was still intact, and so were the 'toons and their army equipment. A huge smoldering crater was right in the middle of the field. Some of the nearby trees were now on fire from the huge blast.

All the 'toons were silent. Daffy and Bugs climbed out of their tank. They took off their army helmets and slowly walked over to the crater. In the center, they found Wile E. Coyote lying there.

"Is he… is he…" Daffy sputtered nervously.

Bugs Bunny gulped, and a tear ran down his cheek. "We didn't mean to…"

Suddenly, the coyote's tail twitched. He groaned, and got up from the disaster area, skritching the fur on his side.

"You're OK!" Daffy cheerfully said. He and Bugs ran over and hugged Wile E. "We thought we lost you! Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," the coyote said. "Nothing's broken or hurt, thankfully."

Bugs said, "You sacrificed yourself to save Pixar. I guess you really cared about our futures."

"Yes," Wile E. explained. "I didn't want your careers to come to a permanent end. Say, why isn't Sylvester with you guys?"

They heard an annoyed yell, and saw Sylvester running away from the disaster area. He yelled, "STUPID PIXAR! I'LL FIND A WAY TO DESTROY THEM!"

"Jeez…" Wile E. said. Then he grabbed one of Yosemite Sam's .38 pistols and ran off, following Sylvester…


	15. Chapter 15: Friends Forever

Chapter Fifteen: Friends Forever

Sylvester was running behind the Pixar building, with Wile E. and his gun close behind. The coyote had finally snapped from all the tension that Daffy and Bugs were causing him. There was a huge traffic jam, full of people trying to evacuate the area due to the explosion. "Look, it's Sylvester and Wile E. Coyote!" a woman said.

"WAIT, SYLVESTER!" Wile E. said angrily, still chasing the cat.

Trying to avoid getting hit by cars, they continued the chase. "Hey look over there, it's that coyote!" a man said.

The coyote shouted, "STOP HIM!" But nobody cared.

Other people were amazed at seeing Sylvester and Wile E. Coyote running around through the traffic jam. Then Sylvester made it across the street and ran into a dark alley between two tall buildings. Wile E. followed, in hot pursuit. Sylvester hid behind a gate, and tried to make himself invisible behind a column. The coyote began to look around, not knowing where he was hiding. Sirens and flashing lights were off in the distance. He breathed heavily, knowing his new prey was hiding somewhere, ready to attack him.

Sylvester leaned out from behind a pole and saw Wile E. standing there with his .38 armed. The coyote began slowly walking around, hoping to catch sight of the cat. Suddenly, Sylvester snuck up and hit the coyote with a trash can lid! He then kicked away Wile E's gun as the coyote fell to the ground. The cat kicked Wile E. a few times and pulled out a magnum he saved from the assault.

"How could you pull a gun on me?" Sylvester sputtered angrily. "You helped me out these past few months, and NOW you try to kill me? Whatever happened to you? Let me tell you something about guns."

"What?" Wile E. asked.

Sylvester grinned and said, "You have to cock it first."

Suddenly, Daffy came in, holding Wile E's gun, cocking it. "Drop it!" he angrily said. Bugs Bunny followed up from behind.

Sylvester dropped his gun, and Wile E. picked it up and aimed it at the cat. "Don't you move!" he said harshly.

"Wile E…" Bugs said in a worried tone.

"You…" Wile E. began at Sylvester, "I thought Bugs and Daffy were the only bad ones…"

"Hey, take it easy…" Sylvester chuckled worriedly.

"I was your friend," the coyote said. "I helped you out of a tough time. I invited you to stay at my house as long as you behaved. HOW COULD YOU DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?!"

Sylvester began, "They were just circumstances…"

"CIRCUMSTANCES?!" Daffy, Wile E. and Bugs all said at the same time.

"You tried to shoot Chicken!" Bugs angrily said.

Sylvester said, "It was a tragic mistake. I just wanted to eat him. Remember?" 

The coyote yelped, "You've gone crazy, you son of a…"

"BOOP!" Daffy dubbed out Wile E's swearing.

The coyote cocked his gun and said, "I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna shoot you, like I tried to do with that Road Runner!"

"Wait, Wile E…" Sylvester began.

Daffy yelled, "Wile E, no!"

The coyote suddenly stopped. "Oh my God, what am I doing? It should be the Road Runner I'm shooting, not a friend." He handed the gun to Bugs. "I'm sorry, guys. I don't know what come over me. I guess the whole 'Ratatouille' thing has gotten to me, too."

Tweety flew in, with Granny following close behind. "Dere you are, bad ol' puddy tat!" Tweety said.

"It's OK…" Sylvester said, breathing heavily. "I've calmed down now."

"You look tewwible," Tweety said. "Why don't you come live with us, as long as you don't twy to catch me?"

Sylvester wearily got up and said, "OK… thanks, guys…" he said to Wile E, Bugs and Daffy, and walked off with Granny and Tweety.

"Gwanny could make you some hot tomato soup…" Tweety said as he left with Sylvester and Granny.

…

Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Wile E. Coyote left the alley, walking together. The other 'toons had gone back home, and everything resumed back to normal at the Pixar building. Night was beginning to fall. Things seemed back to normal again.

"This is a good city," Wile E. said, "but there's a lot of crime and violence in it."

"I know," Daffy said, patting the coyote's shoulder. "But I'm glad you were able to resist it. I don't think I could've!"

Bugs said, "Come on. Let's go home," and they walked off back to the house.

From the Cartoon Network building, the evil boss was watching this one some kind of surveillance monitor. As his face remained in the shadows, he angrily banged his fist on his desk and said, "Curses! Those Looney Tunes may have survived the Pixar assault, but next time they try to take on me, they won't be so lucky!" He laughed evilly.

…

Back at the house, Daffy and Bugs and Wile E. were talking.

"Well, we may have lost the battle, but the war goes on," Daffy announced.

"What do you mean 'lost the battle?'" Wile E. asked. "You didn't even hit the building, and the Pixar crew cowered the whole time."

Daffy corrected himself, "OK, it was a draw, but I can't believe we actually went so far!"

"We also nearly shot Sylvester!" Bugs added.

"Plus," the coyote said, "the Pixar staff just forgot the whole thing ever happened, and the police couldn't care less about the whole ordeal."

Daffy added, "I guess we're all friends again, despite us still being unpopular and becoming obscure and out of work."

"But we're still together," Wile E. said, "and we're still alive and not in prison, and that's all that counts."

"So it is," Daffy said. "Friends forever?"

"Of course!" Bugs Bunny and Wile E. Coyote said in unison. Then they all slapped paws together.

THE END

Finally I finished this part of the trilogy. Yes, you heard me right, there's a Part 3 coming up very soon, with Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Wile E. Coyote and the rest of the gang!


End file.
